From my bestest friend Michael:
A man escapes from a prison where he had been locked up for 15 years.
He breaks into a house to look for money and guns.
Inside, he finds a young couple in bed. He orders the guy out of bed and ties him to a chair.
While tying the homeowner’s wife to the bed, the convict gets on top of her, kisses her neck, then gets up and goes into the bathroom.
While he’s in there, the husband whispers over to his wife, “Listen, this guy is an escaped convict. Look at his clothes! He’s probably spent a lot of time in jail and hasn’t seen a woman in years.
I saw how he kissed your neck. If he wants sex, don’t resist, don’t complain...do whatever he tells you. Satisfy him no matter how much he nauseates you.
This guy is obviously very dangerous. If he gets angry, he’ll kill us both. Be strong, honey. Love you!”
His wife responds, “He wasn’t kissing my neck. He was whispering in my ear. He told me that he’s gay, thinks you’re cute, and asked if we had any Vaseline. I told him it was in the bathroom.
Be strong. I love you, too.”
Saturday, October 27, 2007
Laugh of the Day
Editing Tip(s) of the Day
Looking for mistakes. Don’t proof for every type of mistake at once—do one proof for spelling, another for missing/additional spaces (i.e. two spaces instead of one), consistency of word usage (i.e. past tense versus present tense), font sizes, etc. And don’t be afraid to read with your finger while proofreading—it’ll keep you focused on that word.
T-Shirt of the Day
These t-shirts are:
White: $16.99 for Sm-XL and $19.99 for 2X-4X Large.
Cute cuddly Teddy Bear wearing t-shirt: ONLY $15.99
You can order by clicking on the image.
Other colors and products with the “I Just Am!” design can be found here: www.cafepress.com/jabetasresale/1063736
All designs can be found here: www.cafepress.com/jabetasresale
Photo of the Day
Rio de Janeiro is one city I would love to spend a few weeks visiting. Read more @ Wikipedia.
This site has hundreds of photos from 1920 to present: eayearbooks.com/rio_images.htm
An amazing 360° immersive virtual tour from atop Corcovado Hill:
www.panmap.com/brazil/riodejaneiro/corcovado/panmap.html
Wikitravel (part of Wikipedia) has a great travel guide: wikitravel.org/en/Rio_de_Janeiro
Today's Words to Define
equinox
euro
evanescent
expurgate
facetious
equinox: \ē'kwə-nŏks', ěk'wə-\; either of two times of the year when the sun crosses the plane of the earth's equator and day and night are of equal length; (astronomy) either of the two celestial points at which the celestial equator intersects the ecliptic.
euro: \yŏŏr'ō\; (sometimes initial capital letter) the official common currency of 12 European Union nations (Austria, Belgium, Finland, France, Germany, Greece, Ireland, Italy, Luxembourg, the Netherlands, Portugal, and Spain). In 1999 the euro was adopted by 11 of these nations as an alternative currency in noncash transactions. In 2002 it was adopted by Greece, and in that year it replaced the 12 national currencies. Symbol: €
evanescent: \ěv'ə-něs'ənt\; vanishing; fading away; fleeting; tending to become imperceptible; scarcely perceptible.
expurgate: \ěk'spər-gāt'\; to amend by removing words, passages, etc., deemed offensive or objectionable; to purge or cleanse of moral offensiveness.
facetious: \fə-sē'shəs\; not meant to be taken seriously or literally: a facetious remark; amusing; humorous; lacking serious intent; concerned with something nonessential, amusing, or frivolous.
A Life Saver Called “Plumpynut”
(CBS) You’ve probably never heard a good news story about malnutrition, but you’re about to. Every year, malnutrition kills five million children—that’s one child every six seconds. But now, the Nobel Prize-winning relief group “Doctors Without Borders” says it finally has something that can save millions of these children. Read the entire story and watch the “60 Minutes” segment.
